Where I Am Now

Okay, I gotta vent.  Warning - lots of whining coming up, and little (if any) knitting content.  Consider yourself warned.

No really, if you don't want to hear my kvetching, turn back now.

Still here?  Okay

So, I'm finally leaving my main job, a half-time job at a church.  It's hard to be leaving, even though there has been a lot about the job that I've struggled with.  I worry about what will happen to the congregation with many staff having left this year, and many members of the congregation leaving or getting burnt out in the wake of the various controversies and increased volunteer workload.  It's hard to see an institution with so much potential to be a great church struggling and falling prey to a scarcity mentality.  It makes me feel angry and sad.

I will stay there until Christmas Eve, but meanwhile to pay the bills have taken on some temp work.  Last weekend I started one weekend gig at a shoe store greeting customers and asking them to sign up for the store's e-mail list.  It's very boring, very cold (I stand in a vestibule with just a space heater - I bundled up much more for my second day than my first), and sort of discouraging that few customers want to sign up for the list.  (And I can't say I blame them - who wants more e-mail from stores??)

This afternoon I also will start another part-time temp job, this one at a really great AIDS organization.  I'll be doing mostly reception area coverage, with some other light office work.  They warned me that I might have to deal with some belligerent drunk/high people.  Sign me up.

And I also still have my youth-related church job on Sunday nights, with a couple hours of work I do during the rest of the week.  And I will teach my twice-a-month Tuesday night drop in knitting class. 

So that's five jobs I'm working in December.  Five. Jobs.  What the f*** am I thinking!?!

I'm thinking I would rather not continue my downward spiral further and further into debt.  I'm thinking I would hate not buying my family any Christmas gifts this year, and I don't have time to make gifts for people as I'm spending all my knitting time trying to create samples for my knitting pattern business.

But holy crap.  I don't have a whole day off until Christmas.  I'm only working afternoons a lot of the month, but still.

I'm not looking for advice (I have plenty), but thanks for listening.  I'll be okay.  I will be okay.  Soon it will be a new year.  I'm just writing this one off.  Whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?

Comments

[Julie]

Just keep telling yourself, "It's only temporary, it's only temporary, it's only.....". It'll be over before you know it, then it'll be all designing all the time! Good Luck!

[Danielle]

No words of advice, just compassionate listening here :)

[sara l]

think of how happy you will be at the start of the new year! Which..is ONLY a month away!
brightside...looking for the brightside
:)
S

[Teresa C]

Hey, if you need a real live ear on one of those mornings, let me know. Or a ride to knitting if you can make it.

[julia fc]

Yep. ears wide open and hugs for your month of unholy suckage. Stay healthy and grind it out, babe. xo

[marti]

it sounds like you are doing what you need to do. it won't be easy, but you have my fullest admiration and support.